In Our Rom-Com Era... NOT!
After watching Will Gluck’s new romantic comedy “Anyone But You”, it became clear to me as a 20-year-old, that teenage Isabel along with many others, had been brainwashed by movie romance. Though I left the cinema feeling warm and happy, because I just watched two people find their way back together (awh), I also left extremely aware of the unrealistic expectations these films are setting for us all. Not just teenagers, not just girls, but all of us.
DISCLAIMER: I loved “Anyone But You”, Sydney Sweeney and Glenn Powell played their roles remarkably and the storyline was the perfect balance of romance and comedy. The film just so happens to be one of the most recent and relevant examples of how cinema sets unrealistic expectations of love and relationships. Because yes you might be engaged but no, he probably wouldn’t jump into the Sydney harbour for you, sorry.
If you haven't had the chance to watch 2024's first romantic comedy, "Anyone But You," let me give you a quick rundown. The film centres around two characters Beau (Sweeney) and Ben (Powell). Ben comes to Beau’s rescue when the pair first meet in a coffee shop, and they spend the rest of the day together. Beau stays over at Ben's apartment but leaves abruptly the following morning, leaving behind some unresolved issues. After six months, unbeknownst to them, Beau's sister gets engaged to one of Ben's childhood friends, initiating a reunion. The film follows both characters as they attend the wedding in Australia, find a way to be civil for the sake of their loved ones and navigate their feelings for one another. Vague from me I know, but I wanted to avoid spoilers.
Romcoms tend to be the first genre that young teens are introduced to, conditioning us to believe that in school we will meet THE heartthrob (Troy Bolton) who will be standing outside our window with a “Prom?” sign. Or that there’s always a happily ever after, and it looks like a white picket fence, kids and your High School sweetheart. Even everyday tasks such as getting a coffee or catching a train become romanticised. Several girls in their 20s are now running into coffee shops begging for the toilet key, in hopes their future husband is going to help them out (ABY reference, you seriously need to watch it). Of course, they’re bound to be stereotypical, it’s not reality.
These kinds of films are our first experience with love, and even hold the power to determine what that means. For example, Ben (Anyone But You) jumps from a helicopter despite his fear of flying and runs through hundreds of people to declare his love for Beau outside of the Sydney Opera House. That’s love. Lloyd (Say Anything) holds a boombox up outside of his ex-girlfriend's house blasting “In Your Eyes” to get her back. That’s love. Sam and Donna performing “I Do, I Do, I Do” after two decades of longing for each other. That’s love. Amanda (The Holiday) ditching her taxi and running back to her cottage to declare her feelings for Graham. That’s love. But it’s not real.
This doesn’t mean romcoms are bad and that we should never watch one again. To be perfectly honest settling in to watch a film and getting lost in their world is what we all need sometimes. But walking away knowing it really was just a film is what’s most important. Because failure to leave that behind brings unrealistic expectations to a relationship that cannot be fulfilled and could leave ourselves or our partners with self-doubt.
In reality, relationships need work, they aren’t always easy and they don’t always have a happily ever after. Arguments don’t happen in the pouring rain. Even if you’re the happiest couple in the world, if no werewolf is hunting you down, then he cannot protect you like Damon does Elena. Because you’re not a doppelgänger that everyone is out to get their hands on.
Relationships are mundane, you’ll cook and eat tea together, argue about what they don’t do, argue about what you do do and some days you might not even speak much. Life gets busy and reality isn’t always exciting. Everyone’s love looks different, but if it does look like this, you’re probably doing it right. If there’s anything to remember it’s that.
So, when you’re leaving screen seven after watching Beau and Ben dance the night away, another happily ever after, remember to have achievable expectations. High because you deserve the best, but achievable.