Looking at love for what it shouldn’t look like
Photo: Ruby Waters
If you’re on the same side of TikTok as I am, then you will know all about the breakup between Vincent Gigante and Sam Kelly. The infamous TikTok influences from New Jersey that have left everybody heartbroken and questioning if love even exists anymore on the social media platform.
Debates have been circling around the realm of peoples For You Pages’, and they have finally both released videos explaining the truth behind the breakup.
And it got me thinking…
What is generational trauma? The official term depicts a cycle of traumatic events that have a lasting impact on the immediate victims, as well as their family, as it is passed from generation to generation. TikTok has brought light on this term and allowed space for creators to raise awareness of this form of trauma, whilst also explaining how it can be solved. By breaking generational trauma, you are putting an end to this behavior, so it won’t affect the following generation. Whether this is emotional, physical or mental abuse.
Sam, now the ex-girlfriend of Vincent, shared her viewpoint on this term, and how it has lived through her family. She explained how passionate she is about the home and family her future children will grow up in, that she won’t allow it to be the same as her own family growing up. Simply stating that Vincent needed to grow and mature on his own rather than in a relationship. And it was only affecting her growth as an individual.
To recognize what you need, before allowing the needs of others to interrupt you, takes strength and determination. And this influencer- who is drop dead gorgeous by the way- has used her platform in a majorly positive way. She has shown her millions of followers that it is okay to put yourself first. It is okay to be selfish and give yourself the space to be the best possible version of yourself. And therefore, disturb the tradition of generational trauma.
“You can’t build a home on rotting soil.”
Toxicity has become so normalized in recent years, on platforms that have countless numbers of young minds watching. We were brought up being told that ‘if he is mean to you, he has a crush on you’ and this phrase has been amplified through pop culture and socials glorifying toxic relationships making it desirable. But it is important to know, acknowledge and teach people that these types of relationships are nothing of sorts. They are damaging and can have severe consequences for people physically and mentally. They are what they are, and that is just toxic.
The TikTok couple ended on a healthy note, and both parties still have an immense amount for love for one another. They both recognized what was wrong with the relationship and know that they have a long journey ahead for being happy and healthy as individuals, before they can be as a couple (and my fingers definitely are crossed that this does happen).
We all love love, it is programmed within us to desire the perfect relationship. But work on yourself before you work on a relationship, because you can’t build a home on rotting soil. And it is so refreshing to see a couple so known in the spotlight, to share and teach this to their audience.
Ruby x
Written by Ruby Waters
Edited by Isabel Butler